Play, then, is an important way to have fun whilst also communicating important feelings and building strong relationships. Where an adult can join with the child’s fun, play can open up the possibility of developing relationships not only between children, but also with adults. Joining with children’s play does not have to involve the adult using specialist skills; watching, commenting on the game and being attentive to the child will communicate that parents are interested in their child’s play. Playing together can give parents and children an opportunity to reverse the usual pattern of relationships experienced by children. Through play the child can take charge and experience being knowledgeable, perhaps teaching or helping the adult - a immense source of fun as well as an important social skill for children. Adults can encourage this reversal of roles by asking the child to explain the game and tell them what to do. The ‘dumb’ grown up is a great entertainment!

For many adults joining with the game is not easy as it requires putting aside their familiar roles, letting go of their authority and realism for a while, risking appearing, to the adult world, a fool. For some, play will seem boring, irrelevant to the adult world. Peter Slade, however, suggests that:

‘One of the great gifts of life is to know how to play. When we are young, most of us know how to do this. As we get older, something of the joy dies and so-called reality sets our course to things more grim. Yet a small fire may glow on, deep inside, and occasionally flicker up. In a moment we are young again, we laugh and the world looks brighter’.

Adults can be reassured that their efforts are worthwhile and that there is no "wrong" way to play. Even watching with interest and asking the child to tell you what is happening in the game will show that you are interested and value their world. There are of course more proactive ways to join in the game, but it is adults’ attention that is important rather than expensive or specialist toys. Parents can provide resources like paper, crayons and dough which can be used to support any imaginary game but their involvement can be as simple as giving the child undistracted attention, listening and participating in child led conversations. Whether the play involves drawing, making or telling stories, it is important that the adults’ role does not slip into judging the child’s "performance". The role of being the judged performer is familiar to children (at home and at school), but free play involving an adult can give them an alternative experience where they can participate in sharing ideas and thoughts on an equal basis without the anxiety of failure.

The benefits for children and adults, therefore, can go beyond having fun. Through play, adults and children develop both their skills in talking and hearing each other. Relationships between parents and children can be deepened through shared pleasure and exploration. The involvement of adults in their world can build children’s self confidence and ability, in return, to contribute to the world of adults.

References
Slade, P 1995 Child Play: its importance for Human Development, Jessica Kingsley London
Carroll, J Play Therapy: the Children’s views in Child and Family Social Work 2002, 7, pp177-187

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