Carol Cachia’s childhood was a challenging one. She had to cope with her father’s absence from her life as well as the death of her mother. For some children, a grandparent can provide a stable relationship which can compensate for loss of parents or separations, but Carol’s grandmother had her own problems to deal with, including mental illness and some learning difficulties.

Moving from a home setting to foster care and to a boarding school were further disruptions in Carol’s life, adding to her very real sense of the odds being stacked against her.

Carol’s decision to have her own family in spite of these experiences is a tribute to her determination to move her life forward in a positive direction. Her early life was not a very supportive environment in which to form positive models of family life and parenting, but nevertheless Carol has a strong belief that she can and will help James and his sister Bernie to have a better childhood that she did.

At the same time, she is realistic about the difficulties that her own background might bring to her family and so she is concerned that James, and Bernie, may find it hard to adapt in school, to make friendships and generally to have a happy childhood.

At first, James did indeed have some difficulties in relating well with other children in his school, but before long he successfully adapted and became a popular member of his class.

This is a useful reminder that children can ‘socialize’ each other, as well as learning from their parents about ways of relating with others. Indeed, research shows that some aspects of development, such as the capacity to understand other people’s thoughts and feelings, are very much affected by experiences with siblings and peers.

You can discover more about socialization and how parents’ views can affect this process in John Oates introduction to socialization